Wednesday 17 April 2013

We all need friends

We all need friends

My sadness surprises me.  I listen to a story on the radio, my thoughts wander. I remember independence, waking up early and seeing the morning unfold while the coffee warms my hands and I have my thoughts to myself. Perhaps my sadness is the loss of freedom of 360 degrees of choice.

Now, I wait for my hair to be brushed while I rinse with the mouthwash. Mornings are the beginning of a cycle made up of being pushed, pulled and adjusted. Choice is limited and independence is only a word others use.

I have become someone I don't recognize. I  am disinterested in doing anything. I am so sad inside. I'm without hope and motivation is just a disciplined action. I clutch desperately to any opportunity for comfort or extra mobility. Decay, disrepair and disarray overwhelm me,  gloom  and failure become my friends.

1 comment:

Coral Ladwig said...

G`day Julius. I to am saddened.Your life has so completely changed since your accident. That you have STRUGGLED on with living leaves me wordless. I hope you can gain strength from somewhere and that you can find glimpses of happyness (Yes I know I spelled it incorrectly). I so wish I had a magic wand. You are in my heart. xxxcoralxxx