The loneliness of paralysis is like the pain of death. You live and exist but you can't reach out to others and they can't reach you. Spontaneous touch and non-verbal intimacy are impossible. Interactions become distant and the casual closeness of friends is replaced with a stiff upright but shallow "hello and goodbye".
How I long to open my heart and thoughts to another. Someone I trust and love even to whom I know I can give my will to and extend myself for; to help them be the best they can be. I realise that it is highly unlikely for any such possibility. I hope but I don’t ever lose sight of the unfinished work in my own life. So everyday I make the effort to discover who I am. To cut and mould the hopeless man I am into someone with the strength to continue.
2 comments:
Reading this Julius, opens my eyes to what you are really experienceing. How I wish God would totally heal you so that you could feel love and intimacy like you used to, and so that you could enjoy life in the physical sense like once again, the adventurous, fun-loving person that you are. I admire you for your willingness to help others when you yourself are suffering, and for your positive outlook when your circumstances are so difficult. Don't give up, Julius, I will be praying for you.
Love Kristine.
thank you it sure means a lot x J
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