I can tell you what stinks.
Having little comfort and movement. This stinks.
To always feel you need to adjust your position, in the hope of comfort.
To be unable to move and make a shift to a better alignment.
How do you explain it?
It stinks.
When you face each day with optimism and hope.
To tackle unbearable struggle.
To never share your pain.
Pain shared scares away company.
Don't ever share pain, let your stress out or be in a bad place.
It's like leprosy.
It stinks.
Waking up and discovering you aren't comfortable, not being able to talk to people and have understanding. Then comes the realisation you're in hospital, paralysed below the neck...
Friday, 25 April 2008
Sunday, 20 April 2008
Plastic love
If you love, do you put boundaries on your love? Do imperfections prevent you from loving someone? If so, to quote a line from "The Mexican" with Brad Pit and Julia Roberts, "If you love someone, when is enough, enough?". Can love exist without acceptance? If acceptance is part of it, just how much do you accept?
If you love without acceptance, your love is empty and without substance. Plastic love will last a few years but will break under strain or stress. Hollywood love will last "till the paint wears off" or the shine fades. Love cannot be like water and evaporate or like steel that can't bend. Love is like soil, it can change shape but stay the same, it can move, it can feed and be fed, it supports life and bears fruit.
I heard this recently, "I love him/her so much I will do anything for him/her."
Is this love?
If you love without acceptance, your love is empty and without substance. Plastic love will last a few years but will break under strain or stress. Hollywood love will last "till the paint wears off" or the shine fades. Love cannot be like water and evaporate or like steel that can't bend. Love is like soil, it can change shape but stay the same, it can move, it can feed and be fed, it supports life and bears fruit.
I heard this recently, "I love him/her so much I will do anything for him/her."
Is this love?
Friday, 11 April 2008
GIVING UP
When am I allowed to give up? Is there a point when it's OK? Do I wait till my heart just stops? The relentless attrition, the daily pouring out my strength. The drudgery and the emptiness like a nagging toothache, dull and constant in its pervasive insisting throb. Escape is not an option. Hope? Just too embarrassed to make an appearance.
I have fought the fight for 6 years. Don't I get a day off? People talk to me about taking time off,don't they understand? Time off from what? Being paralysed? Being in pain? Being alone and depressed? No, they mean go somewhere else and be paralysed, in pain and alone. Yippee!
When?
I don't want to. I don't want to. To be me takes too much effort. But to be anything else is not satisfying.
When am I allowed to give up? Is there a point when it's OK? Do I wait till my heart just stops? The relentless attrition, the daily pouring out my strength. The drudgery and the emptiness like a nagging toothache, dull and constant in its pervasive insisting throb. Escape is not an option. Hope? Just too embarrassed to make an appearance.
I have fought the fight for 6 years. Don't I get a day off? People talk to me about taking time off,don't they understand? Time off from what? Being paralysed? Being in pain? Being alone and depressed? No, they mean go somewhere else and be paralysed, in pain and alone. Yippee!
When?
I don't want to. I don't want to. To be me takes too much effort. But to be anything else is not satisfying.
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