Oh God help me.

Oh God help me.
I'm falling
I can't see where I am
I can't see a kind face
Black depression and failure haunt my nights
They fill me with thoughts of death
Hope and peace are pushed aside
As the selfish, insatiable beasts seek to devour my life
Restore my strength and faith
Give me a place to rest from the constant pain
Let me find hope

Failure and waste

Can you define your life?
Can you be cold and clinical about yourself?
Can you stop emotion from clouding your mind?
I can't
Failure and waste.

Memories

I remember your skin.I remember touching your face.I remember lying beside you, watching your face as you sleep. Your eyes closed peaceful and happy.

I remember waking up. My arms wrapped around you. You would nuzzle close. Wrap your breasts with my arms and let your skin absorb the memory.

Making love, dreaming.

Hopeless

Hopeless

I feel so alone. Empty. Lost. Sinking in my putrid uselessness.
Is there no one who can save me? They all drift by, just staring and bored.
Hope seems to evade me. Hiding in shame.

You come here to work.
You come for yourself.
Deceit and selfishness are cloaked by your name.
Carer.

It's like a toothache. You can't escape the constant reminder of your loss. You have to be busy with an objective, a goal. This replaces the opportunities to think about your problems and forces you to concentrate on work.

Living a disabled life is like walking across a never ending dessert. You can't stand still, it's a constant battle and there's little sign or hope of relief.

On this journey you meet many. Some will walk with you and keep you going most will be distracted and leave, despite promises. The traveller has to keep walking. The choices are limited and pleasures few. Hope, faith and love are your true friends. Never rob or deny another any of these.

They can't see

They tell me we are all just animals underneath
They tell me that basic needs and desires drive us
They tell me it's normal

They don't tell me how to deal with the empty nights
They don't tell me how to feel a loving touch
They don't tell me

They can't understand the loneliness
They can't comprehend the emptiness
They can't see my body is longer my friend

They can see but they can't see me.